


Flying Free

by BlackHunter666



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hidden Talents, Secret Gifts, Special Clones, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3393134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackHunter666/pseuds/BlackHunter666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So long as people don't look too deep, I'm just like all my brothers, thousands of life forms identical in every way except for me and my one huge secret. I don't dare tell anyone the truth, I was warned as a child what would happen if I spoke of it but sometimes it's so hard to keep the secret. I want to talk about it, I want people to understand who I am deep inside but I know no one can hope to grasp the responsibilities placed upon my shoulders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying Free

So long as people don't look too deep, I'm just like all my brothers, thousands of life forms identical in every way except for me and my one huge secret. I don't dare tell anyone the truth, I was warned as a child what would happen if I spoke of it but sometimes it's so hard to keep the secret. I want to talk about it, I want people to understand who I am deep inside but I know no one can hope to grasp the responsibilities placed upon my shoulders.

I have to be so careful that no one realises I am different, I cannot relax or lower my guard even for a moment. I carry the warnings in my every thought, wrapping them around me like a second skin so I never feel the temptation to slip and reveal what I am inside. I cannot hope to explain what I am, the ideas are too foreign for my brothers to understand and too close to impossible for the Generals to acknowledge.

So I guard my secret closely, shielding it behind my training and my determination to keep my brothers from learning the truth about my situation. They would judge me for a situation outside my control and I need to have their complete trust if I am ever to fulfil my responsibilities to them. I must hold onto their confidence or my life becomes meaningless.

#^#^#^#^#^#

Closing his journal with a sigh, Kix made certain to lock it properly this time to keep Hardcase out and tucked the datapad out of sight in the bottom of his medpack. He hated keeping secrets from his brothers but this one was something he couldn't discuss with anyone. He was the only one of his experimental batch to survive and as such he was a valuable proof of concept for the longnecks. That value was the main reason he'd been trained as a medic, the Kaminiise were hopeful that such a gentle posting would keep him safe and sane. They had never paused to think about how much the posting would hurt Kix in every way.

Making absolutely certain his private journal was properly hidden, Kix stood and left the barracks for some desperately needed alone time. Such a thing wasn't always easy on a cruiser full of life forms from dozens of different planets but Kix had a couple of spots that he could go for something that came fairly close to proper alone time. He only really got proper alone time when they were on-planet and even then he struggled to find his inner peace most of the time.

Shielding himself from discovery, Kix climbed into one of his favourite spots and tried to relax, going through his relaxation techniques to shut out the constant noise he lived with and clear his mind. He was constantly surrounded by sounds, a confusing babble of internal voices from all sides. Even the Jedi weren't quiet, making it particularly hard for Kix to be around Ahsoka for any length of time. He certainly tried to stay around her, hoping to stop her from noticing anything was wrong but sometimes he needed to get far away from her.

Curling up and using his hands as a physical barrier to the mental strain, he finally cleared his head and calmed his breathing, feeling the constant stress slide away from him as he started to drift calmly. Little by little, he managed to lower the volume in his head, easing back from the constant inflow of noise and muting it all to a manageable level. Gradually his pounding headache eased and he was able to try to focus on just one voice in the chaos. Just one voice to anchor him and allow him to let go of all the rest so he could finally have some peace.

Finding his anchor in the storm around him, Kix reached out with his mind and wrapped around the bright presence of Jesse, sighing softly as he burrowed deeper into the feelings of safety and peace that washed over him from Jesse. It was so easy to get lost in Jesse's relaxed presence, Kix often had to be careful he didn't fall too deeply into his brother.

#^#^#^#^#^#

I know my brothers question what I am capable of, they see me push so much harder than anyone else and I know they wonder how I can give so much without slowing down. I know they worry about me but I can't tell them how I am able to do this. I know they will not understand that I need less sleep than they do, they don't grasp that I am so different even though I look the same. I want to tell them but I know they are not ready to accept me for what I am.

I tried once with Jesse, showing him an image of an unidentifiable clone with shimmering white wings sprouting from their back. He was curious about it but then dismissed the idea as impossible and continued with his day. I took that to mean he wasn't ready to know what I was and left it alone. One day I hope they will be ready but I will not hold out for that day. I can only continue as I have and hope that day will come.

I wish I could tell them about my skills and secrets, I long to share what I am with anyone who can understand but I know my brothers can never truly grasp what I am. I hate that I cannot even let my fellow medics take a closer look at me when I am hurt. There is too much risk that they will realise I am different and report me to the Jedi. Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't actually be a relief, to never have to worry again but I never have the confidence to go through with one of my plans to reveal what I am.

#^#^#^#^#^#

Mind struggling to catch up with what was going on, Kix felt sick to the pit of his stomach as he was tossed over the edge of the cliff where he'd been trying to save a couple of wounded brothers. He could still feel the death grip he had on one of his patients but the other was lost to him in the chaos as they tumbled through the air. Kix could hear the shouts and worries from his brothers still up on the cliff top but he could spare no concentration to ease their fears. Their pain would have to wait until Kix figured out how to fix this mess.

Instinct kicking in hard, Kix adjusted his grip on his brother and reached over his shoulders, yanking at the release mechanisms and dropping his backplate to hang on the emergency lines. Keeping his brother held close, he rolled his shoulders open and cried out in pain as a burning heat engulfed his upper back.  
'let me go, Kix. Let me be with Reaper, in death as in life. Please, don't make me live as the last of my Squad. Let me go, let me be with them.' the wounded man pleaded, trying to make Kix let him go. 'we belong together.'  
'are you so sure he's dead?' Kix asked, straining to speak past the building pain.  
'I saw him fall past us, I can still see his armour on the rocks below. Let me be with him, please Kix. Let Flare Squad die together.'  
'find peace, vod.' Kix nodded, his mind clearing and showing him the pain that could be if he did not allow this. 'you will be remembered.'

Watching his brother fall, Kix cried out in pain as the burning intensified across his back, this flesh feeling like it was tearing along the inside edges of his shoulder blades. Instinct taking over completely, he pulled his collar loose and clawed at his shirt, pulling the thick black cloth free and over his head. Clutching his shirt and torso armour to his chest, he rolled over backwards and screamed his loudest yet as he heard a sharp ripping sound and the burn in his shoulders intensified dramatically.

Then suddenly the burn faded away and Kix realised he wasn't falling anymore. Blinking in shock as he looked up, eyes widening in disbelief as he gazed at the mighty wings now holding him up without his conscious thought. Smile growing, he looked up at the cliff from where he'd been thrown and beat his wings slowly, getting a feel for the massive span of white and blue feathers keeping him from a grizzly death far below.

Adjusting his grip on his armour, he flew back up towards the cliff top and smiled proudly as things started to fit together in his mind. Now he understood why he so often dreamed of flying to the rescue of his brothers, now he knew why he could tell certain things about the wind around him simply by turning his face to the slightest breeze and best of all, now he knew exactly how to control his telepathic abilities. This is what the Kaminoans had been trying to hide from him but now he knew their secrets and felt no fear of what would come next. He was ready for the trails that would come with his discoveries and the revelations of his true nature.

Touching down lightly on the debris covered cliff top, Kix shook out his wings and tucked them safely in against his back, feeling so much more comfortable in his own skin now that he had his wings as more than just a tattoo design.  
'Kix? What the kriff just happened?' Rex asked, walking over to him with pistols drawn. 'there's no way you survived that fall.'  
'you have nothing to fear, Captain.' Kix soothed, looking around at his brothers. 'this was supposed to remain a secret to protect me but I see now that I should have tried harder to show you this before now.'  
'show us what exactly?' Tup asked, lowering his carbine warily. 'this can't be real.'  
'I will explain everything but only once you lower your weapons. I would rather not be shot before I can explain everything.' Kix smiled, setting down his removed armour and nodding his thanks when Jesse tossed him his helmet.

Gradually the weapons were lowered and his brothers relaxed, their thoughts a swirling mixture of confusion, disbelief and shock. Kix honestly didn't blame them for their emotions, he was still trying to adapt to what had been revealed to him at long last.  
'I am the last of an experimental batch of clones, designed to be stronger, faster, lighter and better equipped to handle the rigours of life on the frontlines. These wings are not just for show, as you have all just witnessed. Rather, they allow me to reach brothers that would be considered inaccessible to any other medic on the ground. The initial plan was to have an enhanced medic with every squad but there were problems with the program and I was the only survivor of the first full batch. The Kaminiise originally wanted to keep me on Kamino and study me so they could continue their plans to get enhanced medics out to every squad but after much debate it was decided that I could be better put to use on the front lines doing what I was meant to do.' Kix explained, looking around slowly and watching his brothers try to accept what he was telling them.  
'what exactly do you mean better equipped?' Rex asked, moving closer and watching Kix shuffle his wings.  
'allow me to demonstrate.' Kix chuckled, unfurling his wings and kicking off hard.

Soaring high over the heads of his brothers, Kix spiralled on the thermals until he reached another crashed gunship on a ledge that was too narrow to properly support the damaged machine. Hovering beside the wreckage, Kix reached out with his telepathy to search for survivors within the twisted wreckage. Those in the main cabin were all dead but he picked up on a weak life signature within the cockpit of the crashed ship.

Circling the cabin slowly, Kix found a small gap where the canopy had popped off the rails and reached out with his telepathy again, forming his mental strength into a bubble that he then used to pop the canopy open fully. Kneeling on the edge of the cockpit, he kept his wings flared out as he reached in and unbuckled the pilot.  
'am I dead?' the pilot asked, leaning into Kix a little more.  
'no vod, you're still alive. I'm here to get you to safety.' Kix replied, working the straps loose and slipping his arms under the pilot. 'just hold on tight, vod. I've got you.'  
'thank you. Thought I was a goner up here. Too dangerous to stage a rescue.'  
'not while I'm around. I can reach any wounded man on the battlefield.' Kix soothed, hoisting the pilot into his arms and launching off the side of the gunship.

Arching over backwards, Kix flared out his wings and caught a thermal, riding it down towards Rex and the others. He could already feel the strain of trying to carry this man to safety and knew he wouldn't be able to do this too much without causing damage to his brand new wing joints. He would need to practise and strengthen his new muscles before he tried this too often or he could very well end up needing a rescue of his own.  
'thank you for not squirming around. This is all new to me so I really appreciate the assistance.' Kix offered, adjusting their angle and dropping lower.  
'I'm still trying to accept I survived.' he replied, keeping perfectly still in Kix's arms. 'my name's Drag. Thanks for coming after me, vod.'  
'couldn't leave you up there.' Kix nodded, slipping off the thermals and touching down lightly among their brothers. 'will Drag's safe return suffice as proof, Sir?'  
'you did an amazing job, Kix. No one else could have reached him up there.' Coric praised, approaching and taking a look at Drag. 'nice and easy now, vod. Let's have a look at you.'

Folding his wings back in neatly, Kix unhooked his canteen and drank deeply as he watched Rex try to understand what was going on right in front of him. Sealing his canteen again and returning it to his belt, Kix stretched out his shoulders and hissed softly at the faint burn of tired muscles throughout his upper back.  
'you okay, Kix?' Jesse asked, coming up beside him and offering out his hand in support.  
'yeah, just pushed too hard. This is all kind of new to me and I'm still not sure how far I can push.' Kix nodded, rolling his shoulders slowly. 'but at least I finally have control over some of my other abilities.'  
'what other abilities?' Jesse grinned, starting to rub gentle circles on Kix's back. 'you can trust me with this, you know that right?'  
'yeah, I know. I feel like I should apologise, I was using you as an anchor and I never told you about it.' Kix smiled, opening his wings a little so Jesse could get in. 'I'm telepathic too and I think the term I want is telekinesis.'  
'telekinesis? As in moving things with your mind?' Jesse questioned, continuing with his gentle motions over Kix's back.  
'yeah, or at least I think so. I can't think of any other word for what I did up there. I was able to use my mind to tear open the canopy to pull Drag to safety.' Kix confirmed, rubbing at his temples lightly. 'but whatever it is, it leaves me with one haran of a headache.'  
'what did you mean using me as an anchor?' Jesse continued, still doing anything he could to ease Kix's discomfort.  
'because no one around me was properly shielded from my reach, I was constantly having to deal with thousands of unchecked thoughts every moment of the day. When it was all too much, I would fall into my mind and slowly start to dial down every voice except yours. I would wrap up in your presence and use your calm nature to protect my exhausted mind from the wild thoughts from every direction.' Kix explained, looking over his shoulder at Jesse. 'without you, I would likely have lost my mind trying to cope with so many voices at once.'  
'I'm just glad I could help you, vod. Whatever you need, I'm here for you.' Jesse promised, guiding Kix around to face him. 'I mean it Kix, whatever you need.'  
'you're already doing everything you can.' Kix replied, leaning in to rest their foreheads together lightly. 'just be there when I fall.'  
'always.' Jesse nodded, steady and calm even as they heard the battle coming back their way.

Breaking away slowly, Kix turned to Rex and spread his hands to the side, waiting for the judgement call on his operational status. Without Rex's permission, everything Kix had worked so hard to achieve would go out the window.  
'nothing else changes, Sir. I'm still a loyal 501st man, still your main medic when things are tough and still a damn good shot. Just give me a chance to prove that my wings don't change who I am. Give me a chance to show you that I'm still fully capable.' Kix pleaded, keeping his mental gifts firmly under control to prevent any interference.  
'you have a valuable gift, Kix. We should be protecting that gift so we don't lose our advantage. But considering the situation, we're going to need every gun available on the front lines.' Rex nodded, his thoughts conflicted but his words were clear. 'but you're not going out there unless you can at least put some of your armour on again.'  
'that I can manage, with a little help.' Kix grinned, wandering over to where he'd left his removed armour.

Picking up his shirt, he unpicked two hidden seams along the back, opening up a large panel in the back. Slipping the collar over his head and pulling on the sleeves, he turned to Jesse and flared out his wings, chuckling softly as Jesse grabbed the loose panel and smoothed it up between his wings neatly. The standard hook and loop fabric latched back onto itself, sealing around his back and up under his wings then widened out around the new wing joints.

Grabbing his backplate, Kix flipped it over and removed two internal panels, revealing two neat holes carved right through the plate. He also slipped out two rectangular panels that opened up wide slots into the holes. Accepting the modified backplate, Jesse held the plate in position and gently guided Kix's wings through the slots before working the removable panels back into place to complete the protection.

Locking his chest plate back into position, Kix stooped and grabbed up his helmet and medpack but even that wasn't a major issue for him. Releasing the straps and spreading his wings, he slung the pack over his shoulders and resecured the straps to lock it into place.  
'will that pass, Sir?' he asked, catching his carbine from Hardcase. 'fully armoured and ready for action. Told you this wouldn't change anything.'  
'alright but I want you in the second line. I'm not taking any stupid risks with you.' Rex nodded, taking in Kix's altered state. 'but I'm leaving the final choice up to the General.'  
'here's hoping they give me a chance to explain before sending me back to Kamino.' Kix sighed, looking around at his brothers. 'whatever happens, I want you all to know how honoured I have been to fight beside you.'  
'goes both ways Kix, don't ever doubt that.' Hardcase replied, shouldering his Z-6 with a grin.  
'it's a privilege to know you, Kix.' Tup added, smiling softly at Kix.

#^#^#^#^#^#

Emerging from cover once the call went up that the battle was over, Kix pulled his helmet off and wiped the sweat from his forehead, relieved to have survived his first battle at peak effectiveness. He still chaffed at the restrictions Rex had placed on him but he could understand the sense in protecting his secret from the Seppies.  
'Kix, front and centre.' Rex called, returning to the rear position in armour more grey than blue and white. 'don't give me that look, Kix. This was for your own good.'  
'I'm not upset that you kept me back, Sir. I'm more annoyed that you couldn't keep the secret until I'd had time to explain my situation to the Jedi.' Kix replied, gaze flicking to the Jedi behind Rex. 'not that I really know how to explain any of this.'  
'explain what exactly?' Anakin asked, his attention drifting between Rex and Kix.  
'better to go for the blunt answer. You know the General.' Rex shrugged, turning his focus to Kix as well.  
'I can do blunt.' Kix nodded, looking over his shoulders without turning around. 'I am not a mere clone, but part of an experimental batch of advanced medical troopers. I was originally designated as AMT-2563, not CT-1672 as is currently recorded on my file.'

Catching Ahsoka's gaze, Kix winked and flared out his wings, earning a startled gasp from Ahsoka and some very unflattering thoughts from General Skywalker. Chuckling softly and folding his wings back in a little, he approached the stunned Jedi and turned, allowing them to see his wings in all their majestic beauty.  
'yes General, they are attached and if you try to pull a feather, I will knock you flat.' Kix warned, startling Skywalker again. 'along with my wings, I have also gained telekinesis and my telepathy has further developed beyond the confusing babble I was constantly hearing.'  
'you can read our thoughts?' Ahsoka asked, reaching out to lightly trace her fingers over Kix's left wing.  
'I always could but until I gained my wings, I struggled to tune out the cacophony that came from living among so many people with no true escape. Now I'm finding it much easier to only hear what I want to hear.' Kix nodded, shuddering slightly as he moved his wing away from Ahsoka's hand. 'still sensitive to touch. No need to apologise, you weren't to know Commander.'  
'but still, I should not have touched without asking.' Ahsoka replied, folding her hands behind her back. 'they really are beautiful Kix. But the patterns…'  
'match my armour perfectly. The medical symbol was a foregone conclusion, it's written in my genetics that I will always be a healer. But the blue is my own personal thought, my nightly dreams of flying on wings to match my armour and pay tribute to my fallen brothers.' Kix picked up where Ahsoka faltered, stretching out his wings once more so she could admire the full design across his feathers.

#^#^#^#^#^#

So now my secret is out and surprisingly, no one has really challenged my position but I do get a lot of strange looks whenever I'm wandering around the ship. Of course, they might be staring because I've found it preferable to go without a shirt since my uniforms aren't designed to fit over my wings and no one seems to know how to tailor something to suit. When I absolutely must wear something across my chest, I've taken to wearing a soft cloth wrap that Ahsoka made out of a couple lengths of cloth she traded for.

The guys have accepted the change really easily, always there for me when I need help grooming my feathers or leaving me alone when my head starts to pound due to information overload. I've been trying to teach everyone to shield their thoughts unless they need my help but I'm having mixed success with it. My brothers are doing reasonably well at it, I rarely pick up on their thoughts inadvertently but the non-clone crew is struggling with it. Thankfully General Skywalker and Ahsoka have both made a big effort to shield their thoughts, making it much easier for me to be near them.

Now that my secret is out, I can't imagine why I was so afraid to let my brothers know I was special. They do not question what I am, they are simply glad I exist. They still don't understand how I can survive on less sleep than they do or how I can make carrying one of them so easy but they are happy for me because I have these gifts. I have nothing to dear from my brothers, I am different but I still fit with their understanding of what it means to be a clone trooper.

I am AMT-2563. I am CT-1672. I am Clone Medic Kix and I am perfect just the way I am.


End file.
